Like so many of us early in our careers, I had my own misgivings about how it was all going to work out. Here I was, on the path becoming a therapist who specializes in music therapy, Gestalt therapy, and outdoor experiential therapy with kids and teens. And I loved it! But I was also writing songs, playing in a bluegrass band, and giving birth to all sorts of rockstar dreams. I was living near the amazing mountains of Breckenridge, at the same time when my heroes like John Mayer and Gregory Alan Isakov were gaining traction and blowing up. Man, I wanted to be on that path too! But I was committed to the path I was on. Married, fathering a young daughter, and scrambling to see enough clients to pay our mounting bills. But music…music never left, and those dreams only grew, even if in the background.
Years later, as I continued to pursue both paths, I remember the rush of adrenaline I felt when I first tapped into the thought, “Sure, I’m knee-deep in parenting now, but when Avery is older, like in college, I could go on tour…” And just the pure, unadulterated thought of that brought about so much joy. You mean, I could do both?! I could have it all? Just maybe not all at the same time? Ok, then. I’m in!
And sure enough, as my daughter has completed her first year college, I am finally, blissfully, on the doorstep of my first-ever tour. First ever! And I’m in my 50’s. That’s crazy cool to me, and really exciting. Sure, it’s only six shows over eight days. Not a World Tour by any stretch. But it’s MY tour, and it’s one that’s actually here and now happening. And I’m over the moon.
Some of my shows happen in venues, some are house concerts, one is a corporate gig that required me to carry liability insurance. Because, you know, we acoustic singer-songwriters can get pretty damned unruly. Look out for peace and love!
So as I make my packing list, plan my lodging, spread the word to try and see as many friendly faces as possible on this “Bend in the Middle” tour, I am overjoyed. This is something I’ve always dreamed of. And while I still relish the thought of being invited on the bus with Gregory or John or Noah or Hozier, I’m also content to follow my own path, the one that continues to unfold gloriously before me. And I keep an eye out for those little glimmers from my deeper self, the ones that know where this path is heading. For those glimmers are interwoven with my deepest desires, and it’s like catching the sparks from your roaring fire of dreams. They keep you alive. And if we collect them long enough, and continue to coax them into being, they become a full conflagration before our very eyes. Then everyone else can see it too. But in the meantime, I’ll stay content with loving where I am, and being thrilled about what’s coming.
Tour time, baby! Just like I knew it would be.