Tour Time

Like so many of us early in our careers, I had my own misgivings about how it was all going to work out. Here I was, on the path becoming a therapist who specializes in music therapy, Gestalt therapy, and outdoor experiential therapy with kids and teens. And I loved it! But I was also writing songs, playing in a bluegrass band, and giving birth to all sorts of rockstar dreams. I was living near the amazing mountains of Breckenridge, at the same time when my heroes like John Mayer and Gregory Alan Isakov were gaining traction and blowing up. Man, I wanted to be on that path too! But I was committed to the path I was on. Married, fathering a young daughter, and scrambling to see enough clients to pay our mounting bills. But music…music never left, and those dreams only grew, even if in the background.

Years later, as I continued to pursue both paths, I remember the rush of adrenaline I felt when I first tapped into the thought, “Sure, I’m knee-deep in parenting now, but when Avery is older, like in college, I could go on tour…” And just the pure, unadulterated thought of that brought about so much joy. You mean, I could do both?! I could have it all? Just maybe not all at the same time? Ok, then. I’m in!

And sure enough, as my daughter has completed her first year college, I am finally, blissfully, on the doorstep of my first-ever tour. First ever! And I’m in my 50’s. That’s crazy cool to me, and really exciting. Sure, it’s only six shows over eight days. Not a World Tour by any stretch. But it’s MY tour, and it’s one that’s actually here and now happening. And I’m over the moon.

Some of my shows happen in venues, some are house concerts, one is a corporate gig that required me to carry liability insurance. Because, you know, we acoustic singer-songwriters can get pretty damned unruly. Look out for peace and love!

So as I make my packing list, plan my lodging, spread the word to try and see as many friendly faces as possible on this “Bend in the Middle” tour, I am overjoyed. This is something I’ve always dreamed of. And while I still relish the thought of being invited on the bus with Gregory or John or Noah or Hozier, I’m also content to follow my own path, the one that continues to unfold gloriously before me. And I keep an eye out for those little glimmers from my deeper self, the ones that know where this path is heading. For those glimmers are interwoven with my deepest desires, and it’s like catching the sparks from your roaring fire of dreams. They keep you alive. And if we collect them long enough, and continue to coax them into being, they become a full conflagration before our very eyes. Then everyone else can see it too. But in the meantime, I’ll stay content with loving where I am, and being thrilled about what’s coming.

Tour time, baby! Just like I knew it would be.

Be One First

Well, well well! Three amazing dreams came true, all in the last week. First, I finished the album of children’s songs that I’ve been so diligently working on ever since I wrapped up the Bend in the Middle album. Second, I can now officially say that I, as an artist, have been covered. That’s right, someone else performed a song of mine, in public!. And third, it wasn’t just any “someone else,” but my dream-band of singers: the entire group of kids in the first and second grades at Horizons K-8 in Boulder! I’ve never been more proud.

As you may recall, Horizons is the school where I worked as a counselor for 11 years, retiring last year to pursue music more full-time. I stayed in contact with the choir director, who is the loveliest human around. She helped me put together the kids choir of seven wonderful singers who make an appearance on four of the album’s 10 tracks. In that process, she really connected with my song, “Be One First,” and taught it to the school choir to perform at the spring concert. And perform, they did! Belting out my song with such vigor that, while I was able to record it, was also a tall task given the tears I was simultaneously blinking away. A true dream come true, for sure. And one school this year, let’s see how many we can get singing these songs by next year!

The album, Another Perfect Day is done, and the first single, “Be One First” comes out this Friday, May 9th. As it sounds, it’s a song that I wrote specifically to reinforce a friendship lesson for the little ones: that in order to HAVE a friend, you have to BE ONE first. The song is fun, catchy, and features a great mandolin by Greg Schochet, plus the wonderful kids’ choir.

Kyle Donovan once again produced the album, and we had a very playful, fun, time making it. There are two songs that are very clearly for kids, reinforcing both a friendship lesson and conflict-resolution strategy. But the other eight tracks are general enough for all-ages to connect with, and catchy enough to get stuck in both your head and heart.

As you might guess, writing for kids has given me a whole new avenue to explore my “relentless optimism” as it’s been called. And the positive messages of love, inclusion, and the joys of feeling good are sure to resonate with listeners across the ages. That was my intention, anyway: To get us all singing about feeling good, loving ourselves and each other, and remembering that we are here to have a very fun time.

First track comes out this Friday, May 9th, followed by another single June 13th, another July 25th, and the full album hits the streets September 5th. Thanks as always for being part of the ride. This is getting really fun.

• JD

What Now?

When it comes down to it, it’s really the only interesting question. And frankly, the only one the Universe is ever (and always) asking: What Now?!

In my twenty-plus years as a therapist, one of the things that stands out to me is our unwavering human propensity for story-telling. We are brilliant at it, and we do it non-stop, for everything. We have stories about the world and how things came to be; stories about our bodies and our finances and the scars on our hearts; stories about other people and those who both wronged and righted us. Our brains write stories effortlessly, and these stories often run in the background, like computer programming, leaving us unaware of their ongoing impact.

When people come in to therapy, there is often a predictable story-telling phase where the new client provides some history about themselves, recounting both the highs and lows of being a human on the planet. The details vary from person to person of course, but the process is similar. It’s the “how I got here” explanation that we offer our new co-worker over lunch, or to that cute someone on a first date. This process is, of course, all well and good, normal, and healthy - maybe.

The maybe is that so many of us use our stories in defense of our limitations - here’s why I’m not yet financially independent, or here’s why I can’t trust other humans, or here’s why my childhood trauma left my broken in these ways and why I’m all f*cked up. These stories, or explanations, even if “true” are not helpful to tell. Which brings me back to where I started - the question that IS truly helpful: What Now.

Not to belittle your trauma, but we’ve all got some. It’s all different and it’s all the same in one aspect - the only thing that matters is what we do with it NOW. What now? Use it to justify why you can’t connect more deeply with your partner? That’s one way. Use it as a catalyst to get into therapy and know yourself better? That’s another way.

I’ll write more about our emotional GPS system in the future, but it operates in exactly the same manner. Regardless of your “wrong turns” in life, or your recurring self-destructive patterns that continue, the only thing your GPS is concerned with is where you are now, and where you want to go. And focusing on where you want to go is a 100% sure-fire way to feel better the moment you start doing it.

It’s actually my favorite game to play - pick a thing I want (I’ll choose, for the moment…getting booked to play the Folks Fest big stage) and imagine it for a moment…several moments…for the pure joy of the feeling that arises when I put myself in those shoes. My heart starts leaping, “yeah yeah yeah! like a puppy that wants to play,” and the better I get at this game, the less I hear any contradictory “that’ll never happen” thoughts. I just remind myself again and again what it is I want, and why I want that, and how good it will feel when it comes. Stringing together moments like these can build some serious momentum. And what happens next in my life has a lot to do with the momentum I build. I used to blunder around by default, now I’m much more conscientious about the momentum I create.

So, less talk about our frozen footsteps. Get off the train of explaining how you got here, and stop arguing for your limitations. And start telling me where you’re heading, and why, and how freaking awesome it’s going to be when you get there. That’s the game I’m going to keep playing, and I love the feeling that happens when I play it. And I love the things that happen next.

Stay tuned, friends. This is getting exciting.

Happy Birthday Bend in the Middle

No matter how long it takes to record and release and album, it’s always longer than I think it’s going to be. And always longer than I’d like it to be. This time - releasing my 5th album (4th full-length) - I was the most relaxed I’ve ever been around the timeline. But that’s not to say I was relaxed.

It’s a nervy thing - being an artist, making music, sharing it with the world and trying not to care *too much about the reactions of others. Of course I want you all to love my music. But I also don’t want to care too much about what you think about my art, because it then gets in the way of the actual flow required for music making.

But we’re here! The album came out! It exists in real time and people are streaming it all over the planet. Literally. And so far, I’m validated to see that my favorite track on the album (Lovin’ Our Friends) so far appears to be your favorite as well, at least as far as streaming traction goes.

The album release show was perhaps my favorite night of music making in my life! The Dairy Arts center in Boulder was nearly sold-out, and I got to perform all 11 tracks with a 9-piece band! It was beyond dreamy. The one scaled back tune ended up stealing the show, as Kyle Donovan and I sang “You & I” as a duet, and it was memorable. I don’t get too many standing ovations, but the one I received at the end of the show felt as good as any in existence. My heart is swollen and I’ll be floating on the love from that evening for some time to come.

The process of writing, re-writing, recording and releasing and album often means that by the time you hear the first “new” song, I’m already a bit tired of it. You can imagine the hundreds (thousands?) of times that I have heard each song by the time we finally master it and get ready to share it with the masses. But that’s just part of the process.

The other big thing I was really excited about in releasing this album is that my songwriting has evolved at a rapid clip, and I’ve been eager to share with you where I am NOW. But I just just mentioned above, even NOW is fleeting, for I’m now excited for this next batch of tunes I’m writing, and so it goes.

The album itself is garnering wonderful reviews, which always feels gratifying. Thank you for listening, for sharing the music with your friends, and for keeping an eye on the YouTube channel. I’ll have a new video up soon doing a deep dive behind the album, discussing each individual song one a time.

Thank you for your continued support and love. It takes a village indeed. Stay tuned!